he just booty called me in advance instead of waiting til 3 am when hes trashed. i think thats really considerate and gentlemanlike.
there were no ball for pong so he bought cat toys..... they had bells in them
I'll be heading downtown with donuts and a lawn chair at 9am to go Halloween Walk o' Shame spotting.
The bouncer yelled at him for poking at the guy selling roses, I think it's time to leave.
I just horrified a large group of people. Congrats on dating me.
I'm pretty sure when you walk down Broadway and can pick out people you've slept with.. It might be a problem. I'm leaving for rehab tomorrow.
Pretty sure the cab driver can even smell the sex coming from between my legs
I got back at him the only way I knew how, by hooking up with the guy he hates from their rival fraternity.
So my mind was like YOU ARE TOTALLY GONNA MAKE IT TO CLASS TODAY but then my body was all LOL NO YOU AIN'T.
Well it's official, last night I hooked up with the third girl from the apartment downstairs.
Dude that's a hat trick!
I know, I tossed my hat on the floor as I was walking out.
They only searched every other person. But I sacrificed myself to get our vodka across the border
yeah well, its not like my astrogynecology class is teaching me what i need to know
im almost 90% sure there is no such thing as astrogynecology.
He just pulled a Spanish chick using google translate!!!! We are at the bar and she speaks zero English. Hes a fucking magician!!!!!!
We got stoned and took selfies with the most perfect lawn
Thanks a lot dude. I'm grateful to you for your gift of pure piss.
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