Was just hit on by a guy with 2 kids and one was named Rocky. I need to get out of Buena Park.
i had to apologize to my friends for being friends with me
it was really awkward meeting your mom for the first time while i was still wearing the condom we were using.
there is nothing worst than getting kicked in the face by a stripper
Just talked to Laura, confirming that is my bra. Hope it goes well with the rest of your wall decorations.
Def just hooked up with my brother's senior prom date in his bed. Does that make me the worst brother ever?
I don't understand why your family and sex lives should EVER overlap.
My underwear said "hard to get" on the butt. He laughed when he took them off.
The cop left me alone after I gave her my spare snow cone. It was a hot and humid day and that uniform looked stuffy. Yay stoner me for overindulging in icy treats.
I can control the tv with my phone while pooping on the second floor. I thought you should know for future reference
we superglued breast forms to his chest. those aren't coming off anytime soon.
So my Mom pointed out my vibrator on the night stand next to my stun gun and reminded me of how much I drink.
I don't remember how I broke my nose last night, but I woke up with dried blood everywhere. Also, you should tell that guy how you feel.
Just remembered when I first started going down on him he goes "ok now I feel a little better about the broncos losing"
I didn’t want to see that boob. I told her not to show me but she said “no, I’m going to show you”
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