there's a booger on my laptop, i suspect it's yours
How you know a guy is gay: they say they would want money, not sexual favors, from emma watson
What is this red stuff in a water bottle in my fridge that's labeled "not for baby turtles"?
I'll be there in 5 min. If not, read this again.
I found a tip from a dart in my bra this morning
Boxed wine mondays was one of our finer ideas
My mom had to physically restrain me because I wouldn't stop acting like a dinosaur.
We have bigger issues at hand... Does anybody know someone in the kalamazoo area that is missing a pair of stilts ?
OUR DIABOLICAL SLUT PLAN HATH COMMENCED!
Figured out why that fly won't leave. It keeps buzzing through my weed smoke
Fly high, Fly.
It's like he drunk calls 6 times for me to come over, but can't say hello at lunch.
I suggest both. Please have sex with them and prepare notes for a final comparison.
I just got a snapchat of a flaccid penis with the caption "happy belated valentine's day." What did I do to deserve this
Write this down so you can tell me in the morning. "That bartender needs to be in my mouth."
His sisters are going to have a heyday finding all those condoms in their bunk beds.
Randomize
