We drank from noon till 5 am, there was adderall and nice jews involved it was just crazy
She got kicked off the plane and spent the last four hours in a holding cell with the feds.
but she's really nice
I think I took your hangover as a birthday present
He just asked me if I ever had the urge to put a zucchini in my ass.
a pedometer??? no beatles?Steve jobs just took a dump in CA and it landed on my heart
Is it because I queefed?
i'm transferring to degrassi. i don't care that it's severely canadian. classes are five minutes long, there's no actual work and you can get oot of class whenever you want to go have a dramatic scene with someone in the hall
Lucky for you, I found your phone.....Not so lucky for you, it was in the bottom of your vomit-filled trashcan.
Dude, I don't care how big her tits are. I have to dump her. She shit in my shower.
He's doing the single life. He recently finished like a 3 year relationship. You can't date him.
But I don't want to date him. I just want to look at him. Naked. And in my bed.
Living room yoga. I'm too hungover to deal with anyone else's chi today.
Is the Chairman of the College Republicans throwing upon your toilet right now? 'Murica!
So lets not base feelings on vagina tingles
He's like a hurricane
a drunk, sexist, hurricane
Yeah come over whenever. Weed gets here at 8.
I'll be there at 7:59.
Randomize
