Is it proper Ass-Fingering-Etiquette to tell her u felt her poop or just pretend it didn't happen?
ugh, today is just one of those 'get high before your 8am class' days.
Like many of my risky ideas this has "burned genitals" written all over it
i will replace your cream cheese. there's enough for breakfast. you are my friend. i had guests we wanted bagels so bad im sorry. i left you notes. i love you. you have enough for a bagel or two and i will get you more. you are so pretty.
I AM OVULATING LIKE A STEAM ENGINE.
Not going out tonight. And so the 25 day drinking streak ends....
i mad aa ber float. budweiser nd ice creem. it amzig.
She is screaming bc she thinks you jumped out the window...please show her you just went out for a smoke
I found one of your hair extensions on the dance floor. You put it back in your hair
Can we please start going to the gym before I accidentally kill someone via explosive fat girl pants button accident
Oh. I'm probably going to just get a viagra and ruin your life.
Amnesty Wednesday? I'm free to do dirty things to you and you can't laugh or judge?
Sharknado 3 is going to bring us to alcoghol poisonign
I can't dude. Last time I was there, I blew the bartender in the bathroom at last call.
I may or may not be drinking in a church parking lot.
Randomize
