He is fucking rediculously sexy. DO HIM NOW. NOW. NOW. NOW.
Was just practicing flip cup with my NyQuil cup...
Walk of Shame time yet?
Dude she's 6"2, blonde and on the cheerleading team. I look like Seth Rogen's fatter, unfunny brother. What shame am I supposed to be feeling?
Well you broke that rule when you put it in your mouth.
I will never get the visual of you crying while chewing christmas lights out of my head
Also, new rule: You are no longer allowed to send me a text with the word "dildo" in it before 10am.
You are so lucky that drugs are going to kill you before I do.
There was a gay guy in drag passed out against the wall but we had sex in there anyway.
I'm that hungover student in class ... On a wednesday morning
Omg I think I'm in the wrong class
Just applied for assistance with paying my hospital bill from my alcohol poisoning at age 16 while still a little drunk from last night. What is my life.
Circle of life?
I imagine my service panda will provide sufficient protection. At the very least it will be an irresistible cuddly distraction while I make good my escape.
I made a joke about The Hemingway being a really boring sex position where you blandly describe all the action and then kill yourself after you orgasm. He stopped responding. I've GOT to stop talking to everyone like they're you.
Its official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world
i just ran butt naked down the hall and someone highfived me. i love college.
You should probably come home from vacation now. I make badddd decisions when you're gone.
Randomize
