I have said "that's the wrong hole" for the last time.
Women are like Alzheimers patiens. You can compliment them a million times in a day, but the next day is always a wash, you have to start all over.
3 different guys in my psych class know me as 3 different names and said hi to me with all 3 different names-Andrea, Grace, and Bella
I've never been more proud of you
He doesn't like you, he likes u not having a gag relfex
Someone left a beer in front of your door...there's a note with it that says "peace offering"
with your vagina and my liver, anything is possible
He said he wants to make an itinerary for the sex we'll have when I come home.
you just stood there spinning and got mad if anyone tried to stop you
DONT EVER DUNK OREOS INTO WINE . NEVER
Are we talking about who knows if I'll get naked pictures of you with a broadsword or who knows if I'll be surprised?
I was trying to be quiet until started to feel like my cock was being dipped in a rainbow and then I stopped caring temporarily
Did you seriously just hashtag my sex life as #yolo2013?
I mean she did throw a tantrum because you wouldn't let her suck your dick
He literally shouted this Viking war cry when he cam. Then as we laid there he sang me the most beautiful rendition of " When Irish Eyes are Smiling". I've never been more confused.
I gave Sophia a glitter bomb for Christmas. And before you ask is because she pooped in my cat litter box and then drank all my liquor and didn't pay me back and refuses to acknowledge that she had any wrongdoing. So she gets to clean up glitter for the next 10 years.
Randomize
