the sham wow guy got arrested for beating up a hooker.
He kept saying the best defense against a lion is to punch it in the throat.
You know that it's no longer pregaming if you don't go anywhere, right? That's just drinking alone.
Wait, we're on the hunt for addys and explosives. They're both in this house somewhere.
you were holding her hair as she threw up saying "I'm going to be a great doctor" repeatedly.
she's a gynecology student. i don't know if my dick's ready for that kind of pressure.
You went from loaded cattleman, to football player, to better football player, to art major from Missouri. Your future was looking so good for a while.
I come back into the room and you're grinding with the person in the mascot suit.
He kept dropping hints about giving me crabs. Like he called my pubes a nest and said he "hoped there weren't any eggs in there."
I feel like i could break down a fucking wall with this boner
Soooo, coming over soon?
He leaned over in the middle of the movie and said "My dick's name is Juan". WHO DOES THAT?
I tried to think of the best possible thing I could do for my 30th birthday, and the finalist is "get a clit ring"
Would it defeat the purpose of a run if I ran to McDonalds?
you said it was a life or death situation, being your partner for beer pong doesn't count
My orgasm happened in two different decades
Randomize
