just ate pastrami before passing out in my hotel room. My room smells like a petting zoo
He is either going to be in my pants or get a restraining order against me.
You sent me a text calling me "cunt" while i was in the middle of dumping my bf.
So we're fucking tonight?
she keeps a pillow, blanket, and a pack of saltines under the bathroom sink, for "rough nights".
I just ordered a 3 square foot pizza. This is how to beat an eating disorder.
Just saw a woman in a hospital gown with a Steelers jersey on top smoking a cigarette while hooked up to an IV outside of the hospital. I love Pittsburgh.
Fuck. I just got my nipple tweaked by a plus size drag queen in a purple dress. I feel like I got molested by Grimace.
for once, the $56 i am about to pay for plan b was actually worth the sex.
This guy in a neck brace is ordering bottle service at the strip club. Not sure whether to applaud his commitment or scorn his addiction. It's a draw.
There's a man in a pumpkin/reaper outfit advertising a new head shop outside the Taco Bell. I love this town.
I caught her walking around with a fake mustache, wearing a sombrero and holding an empty carton of milk. She's a hopeless cause.
I just looked into the eyes of the man whose car I peed on last night
True enough. Do you ever think that these girls grandparents ghosts are watching you masterbate to their granddaughters and look at you in Shame?
Is this the point in which we come to terms with our lesbianism or is that after you send me more ass pics...
Have you ever gotten so angry that you stripped in public?
Randomize