Not a fireman, but good enough for last night.
We were busted for public indecency in the back of my car in the parking lot. This time we were just reading my Cosmo magazine.
you made them have somersault races with you thru the lobby..
did i call you last night crying about tacos and the royal wedding again?
You just want to fuck a girl in a dinosaur costume, don't you?
Who wrote Most Moistest Dad on my chest and what the fuck does it mean?!?
So I did end up texting him last night... I asked him how he felt about haircuts... not sure where I was going with that one?
dude i should have never cleaned my ears out while high. theres no going back.
As your attorney I advise you to rage rapidly
I thought you wanted to talk?
What part of "Lets have angry sex" means I want to talk?
He held the kayak still so I wouldn't tip over while projectile vomiting. If that ain't true love, I don't know what is...
I'm just like... Utterly amazed that we're still alive at this point. Who'da thunk it....
Probably not. Getting pulled over and puking my guts out on the side of the road in front of the cop and him making fun of me, was not my finest moment. Plus I lost my debit card.
Holy. Shit. I just remembered all the lapdances....
Omg worst high ever. I'm watching Parks and Rec, and all i can think about is how andy, leslie, and tom are my closest friends. Forever alone.
Randomize
