I have a new reason to go to work: I can tell which 3 of my coworkers are sisters just by looking at their butts.
She wouldn't stop saying her own name. Like a damn pokemon.
dude, you cant keep using "she roofied me" as an excuse to bang all these fat chicks
Sprained my ankle at sky zone REST ICE COMPRESSION ELEVATION AND SHOTS it'll all feel better soon
I mean, we do coke and have sex occasionally...I wouldn't call that a relationship.
we've decided whoever is stupid enough to use the condom that's tacked to the wall deserves to get pregnant.
No, I don't just love you because you have big boobs. I just wouldn't visit as often.
Did you Fuck minivan and her friend last night?
remember when I told you about my grandma asking me about my sex scars? Less comfortable than that
that's the second time I've made out with him and woken up with my pants stuffed with PBRs I am convinced he's magic
he sneezed into my face mid-kiss
Bless his heart
i agree, on both the sex thing and the unrepentant bastard thing
He left a full handprint on my ass. He called it a "five-star review."
I wish so many great beards were not attached to even greater jerks. All that face sitting potential wasted. Some of the greatest tragedies of this century.
She fucked my eyebrows.. I've never had that done before.
Wait... Plucked, or Fucked?
Fucked, but I understand your need to clarify
Randomize
