How'd it feel making her break her religion?
Remeber, hes got nothing better to offer you than drunk words and hairy balls.
I could give you a full detailed description of 75% of the penises in that room
sitting in an airport in detroit. just saw a commercial for detroit tourism with kid rock as a spokesman. reason # 1458 to never visit this city.
I guess we had a small kitchen fire somehow when we decided to bake fruitroll ups and croutons...
I really need to find better places to throw up. I would like to be able to use the bathroom sink the next morning for brushing my teeth
What's the policy for hitting on a girl at a funeral? She seems more bored than sad.
I think I should advise against you hooking up with a guy that throws "the shocker" up in all of his pictures on facebook. Just sayin.
He can keep it, but if he asks for anything else i'm just going to start pissing on things.
I just KNEW this was gonna happen. NEVER say "all the free Jameson you can drink" around Tina.
Like don't initiate a threesome when we're all watching SPONGEBOB. That's like sacrilege.
I'm telling you, this vagina is really making the rounds lately...
And the next thing I knew I was blowing this random hot italian bartender with an uncircumcised penis in his work closet
I wish I could be the kind of drunk Bobbi is... She stumbles around outside at 4am with a broken high heel and babbling about rainbows and getting dick...
I’ve jerked off three times and taken five shits already today. Being hung over in your 40’s is a fucking roller coaster.
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