It's not littering; it's giving birds nest building suplies. Besides, birds love soy sauce and plastic forks.
dude i just heard a girl tell another girl 'what part of im trying to get laid tonight dont u understand?'
needless to say i wont be back home tonight
He rubs his penis on back when he think I'm sleeping
Next time I see you, remind me to tell you how I fell through my attic door and landed on my feet in the garage on the first floor.
Blacked in riding a tandem bicycle with a stranger. We stopped for hot dogs.
So another one of your girlfriends from middle school had a baby. Thank god you are gay, otherwise you would definitely be a dad by now.
You know, you have a good excuse now if you have a poor performance. Just say "what do you expect? I took a paintball to the DICK!!"
Heard you had a bad day. I have vodka, chocolate and my dick here ready to put a smile back on your face.
By the way anyone who is willing to be in the film while tripping gets free shrooms.
Whoops. I'm a horrible gf, I dropped the "I'm looking for jobs in a different city" bomb before I wished him a happy anniversary
He kept kissing me on the cheek when I was pretending to sleep while he cried
His roommate walked in then asked "well did you at least finish". What a way to start your birthday
You know, normal sex stuff involves shitting your pants. If you do it right.
I woke up with a pillow, shampoo and a plant in my fridge. Eggs in the toilet, and I was wearing three pairs of girls underwear. What happened last night
My theory is if i keep drinking, evolution will kick in and I will grow a bigger, faster, and more improved liver by January.
Randomize
