I think we need to take a brake
What upsets me the most about that is that you spelt it 'brake'
I jusy said out loud "gingers unite in the middle of the night"
Getting up at 8 this morning to drink could be the best and the worst idea we've ever had
It was confusing and full of hummus
While I was banging her, her cell rang. She checked to see who it was, answered it, and moaned, "I'm dumping you."
He was sitting on the bathroom floor, swirling his finger in the toilet singing the Laguna Beach theme song. I don't know whether to laugh or help him.
bad decision saturdays are such a good decision
i just got on a party bus. i think i left my belly button at the bar.
He kept coming back from the bar with hotter girls and just left with two...I feel like I just witnessed something amaZing. Like meeting Jesus and finding out he has no morals either
Are we hungover?
I got a lapdance from a gay guy in red uggs and spandex shorts with reindeer antlers on. And I don't remember it. Hungover does not even cover it.
Yeah. I had to take off my shirt. It's soaked in weakness.
Nothing like waking up and having two guys who aren't your boyfriend talk to you about their hard dicks before 9 am.
I was told I look like trouble once and that was by a fireman at the sex show. I was carrying two beers and a penis pinata.
I've been trying to masturbate for the longest time now and so far I've accomplished getting tangled in my computer battery cord and phone charger and hitting my knee on my laptop.
i did these weird ass ab exercises once that left me queefing for weeks
Randomize
