felt a little awkward waiting for my McNuggets after vomiting all over the counter
im vomiting on the 4th floor cause no one knows me there
Seriously man, I'm worried that my dick's going to fall off someday if I keep this up...
I'm too hungover to crawl to the fridge so im eating the candy nipple tassels I got bought for Christmas
I have the Everlasting Gobstopper of boners right now. It's kinda like a gift from god, but I don't want to spend anymore time with this girl than I have to.
they're doing drop shots of Jager into red wine. i don't want to be on that level
Gin and redbull in a wine glass. They think I'm keeping my wits with a really yellow Chardonnay. Gonna get ugly after a couple.
I keep having to have that awkward "I don't want to have sex with you" convo. I thought wearing sweatpants was suppose to prevent this situation..
I mean looking back on it, it's unlucky but at least now we can say we were in jail from 2011 to 2012
That's thinking positively..
Well you wanna do it now or later? I've had three shots and I'm listening to journey by myself. Emotionally there is no better prime time than right now.
I would pay to watch a Bravo special of you getting Botox.
so getting blacked out last night has made my lips so beautifully red for pictures today... and they say nothing good comes from alcohol
He walked into the bar with a pillow and put his head down...nuff said
I got wing sauce on the baby and licked it off. If you were wondering how I'm doing.
I know it's New Year's Eve but if you're going to have a bunch of chicks playing strip go fish in our apartment I need a heads up.
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