hey im gonna send you a picture of my dinner
if its a picture of your dick again we are no longer friends
so after all day drinking, we went to an all u can eat crab place and i was going from table to table surveying the crowd if they though the crab i was carrying around looked like the flying dog from never ending story...what the hell is wrong with me?
so i saw this homeless guy this morning yelling at a pay phone like chewbacca.
That's what you get for being in filth-adelphia.
Three 40's of Mickeys, is no excuse to be naked at Baskin Robins.
i woke up in the lobby of Holiday Inn on a chair sitting up straight
She left me a voicemail too. It's just her moaning her name repeatedly
this boner is fucking legendary. i should name it and celebrate its birthday every year
You do realize that you tried to eat the neighbors cat because the dominos guy was 5 minutes late. You would have succeeded if we didnt stop you.
some guy just burried his vomit in the sand.
I will also take that commission in the form of weed. Pass that on to the asst. manager.
I seriously had to check my phone this morning to make sure I didn't agree to any strange sexual favors.
I could go for watching some naked price is right. Looks like a good time to me.
Also, sorry about chilling in just the towel last night. You know I have ADD and somehow even after looking at you, I forgot I'm not the only person living there right now
The bar brought brought it upon themselves, they played billy joels piano man before closing, it's not our fault the bar isn't a bar anymore, right?
spent the night holding naked strippers up for keg stands and doing endless amounts of body shots. good game 8am final exam.
whats an extra semester when you've already been in college for 6 years?
Randomize
