I think i really like him...he was super cuddly and kept me company.
stop. you already have a dog
At one point during the moaning he reminded me of Forrest Gump
i woke up to my roomate hitting me in the head with a can of PBR at 8:30 in the morning...i love spring break
it's a little hard to watch the basketball games with my family considering they keep cheering for the guy that i had a one night stand with...
God you better not be texting me after just having sex with someone from craigslist
Remember that amazing deer? You peed next to that dear..
I told her she has a very organized vagina; somehow she took offense.
I literally had to tap out of the blow job. It was like a pornographic wrestling match
Two dudes got up on top of the pianos and danced shirtless. They didnt even get kicked out. I love vegas
This may have to wait till tomorrow. I smoked so my back wouldn't hurt and I overshot relaxed by like 4 hits casually
I think I fucked up my elbow when I tried to fight off the paramedics.
So after my hot dog popped out of the bun and fell to the ground I tried to pick it back up and eat it. He had to kick it away from me to stop me from trying to pick it back up and eat it. I like him.
You're breaking my sexual little heart
I'm pretty sure that cute cop drove me home. Especially since I found his card in my purse.
It probably doesn't matter because I'm drunk...but I'm sorry for getting you drunk, having you almost lose your place to live, all your friends, permanently lose your liver functions, throwing up on my floor, losing virginity...etc...mostly I'm sorry for making you watch: cabin in the woods.
Randomize
