She has some nice fakeys. She is also an exotic entrepreneur.
were having a shit on karen session at work but then she walked in so we used code names instead and she tried to join in like she knew them
Scratch that. Lia's boy toy's brother has a gorilla costume. This is gonna be great.
the only bad part about drinking alone is that in the morning there's nobody who can tell you what you did
You guys tried to boil water to fill up the empty hot tub. After the fourth trip back with the kettle you gave up.
I DONT WANT TO PLUS I THINK I FLUSHED MY KEYS DOWN THE TOILET WHILE I WAS PEEING
Put it this way, at one point I was getting stoned on the roof of the strip club with one of the strippers while another one gave me a free lap dance. That wasn't even the best part of the night.
Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face.
Was your bare penis on or around my blanket?
Goodnight Shia. Goodnight Moon.
The kitchen also doubles as a screaming room after midnight as long as you have something to muffle the sound
Hiking for a first date sounded like a good idea in theory because there was absolutely no possibility of me blacking out. In practice, I'd rather black out than go through what I just went through.
The police report said i was screaming at someone that wasnt there, then the cops told me to call someone sober and i called mike to tell him "They are trying to arrest me for stealing information from the FBI" at that point they took me to jail.
If my one night stand asked me to move in with him right after does it still count as a one nighter?
It’s amazing such a big dick belongs to such a boring guy
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