No shame. Just smoked a bowl with a Norwegian. Feels like something to cross off a list.
i just googled the alphabet. i couldnt remember if it was jklomnop or jklmnop.
Dude. She told me she felt bad for not giving me more blojobs. HOW COULD THAT HAVE GONE BETTER?
All I did was present the dick. You did the work. That's like thanking the pencil for a test you got an A on.
#1 benefit of having an equality sticker on my car: some girl flashed me while i was driving home
Someones grandma was rubbing my back. I'm way too high for this.
then she kicked a hole in her own door and the next thing you know, brian's walking up to her room with power tools. in no condition to use them
I ordered a million chicken go wraps and they gave me five. Even when im drunk I can count to a million and know its not five. They fucked me.
He's def the type to chop us into bits whilst screaming "NAPA BITCH". AKA my type
I'm so tired I just poured monster in my coffee.
And it tastes incredible.
And I have chest pains.
Will you bring a case of beer down to the hot tub? Me and Phil don't want to feel feelings anymore
well my grandpa saw your dick pic, so why don't you tell me how my day is going
I think I'd rather see her get hit by a car in one of those Russian dash cam videos on YouTube.
A guy at my table is reading a magazine called "Cheese Connoisseur"
i had to call the bar to ask if they found my bowling ball. That good of a night
Randomize
