If there's anything in this world better than hotboxing in the rain I haven't found it yet.
Agreed
Let's perk you up. I have a good PG joke and a picture of my penis while urinating. You pick.
All I have in my fridge is chocolate cake, pizza, spicy mayo sauce, beer, and weed. I love college
I mean, we started to hook up but my asthma attack kind of killed the mood
ok... i just had to be reminded that people in animal costumes were feeding me shots at the bar.
walking around pouring bird seed on passed out guys in the quad.
I need to stop drinking alone, I wrote a love letter to my tattoos
I don't really feel bad about it, but I legit just squirted in the back of an Uber and it makes me think how many times has this happened before?!?!
I've never known a porn star before
There's not even an emoji for this
That cat I follow on Facebook beat cancer so we're drinking tonight in celebration
Just escaped from the ER. Meet me at the bar in 20 minutes.
So this morning everyone commended me for puking over the porch. No one else made it that far...
Dude I'm drinking alone and watching cartoons. How is it that someone as hot as me is doing this.
Omg dude take a shower. You'll feel like god washed away all the sinful shit we did last night.
I was left to my own devices with nothing to do but drink
Randomize
