I have show me your genitals stuck in my head. Except in spanish. Muestrame tus genitals. Tus genitals.
So Ryan had to wash the dishes. His solution: take a shower with them. I'm never eating at his house again.
its fine. mom just made me chug a long island. and made a crying face when i balked. we'll talk tomorrow.
I guarantee that wasn't the first penis someone placed on her forehead.
Two questions for you. Did I throw up last night and did we get food or did I dream that..?
No you never threw up but you did force me to take you to wendy's because you wanted "beef and ketchup"
Just purchased ketchup, body wash, and lube. Hope you're ready for the post-memorial-day-cookout-shower-anal.
I peed in a 7/11 last night. Like literally pretended I pretended I was shopping, looked around, and peed on boxes in the corner. No more tequila
Look, I'm just saying... paying ur respects to the neighbors who had a death in the family with food u steal from the neighbors having the cookout may result in a negative karma situation.
oh the usual. high as balls and crying about the hunger games.
My vagina has a mind if its own. Can you imagine if I didnt have you to run her ideas through.
So how do you explain to your boss that Siri called him mid sex?
i refuse to sex anyone who doesn't get my lord of the rings references. no exceptions.
I just changed all my morning alarms to wake me up with different Jesse McCartney songs telling me I'm beautiful. Would you believe I'll be 25 this year?
He's mad at me because I said I wouldn't date him if his dick was smaller. I fail to see the issue
he yelled at me like a drill sergeant while I quickly tried to take off my pants
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