hide the guitars, Nate just learned to play free fallin'
how the fuck does easy mac keep making itself at 3am when i'm wasted? what is this phenomenon?
He wouldn't know what to do with his penis even if they made a "how to get a blowjob for dummies" guide
Umm I need a rain check. Long story short is I have scabies. Research it if you want. I'll tell you everything another time soon, I promise.
SHE WON'T ROUND UP MY GRADE! I have a 79.8% I ONLY MISSED TWO CLASSES!!! ONE WHEN I GOT DRUGGED AND ONE WHEN MY CAR GOT BROKEN INTO!! I'm interculturally competent. I used to date a Italian/Cherokee Indian. I fucked a Palestinian. How much more pro-peace can you get?
I have grass duct taped all over my body
Also, even though this really sucks now, we will look back on this one day and laugh at the time we all got arrested on Thanksgiving
You leaned over so she could squirt ketchup in your hair and then started chanting "KETCHUP NIGHT!! KETCHUP NIGHT!!!"
Plus it's a good way to scope out guys. Have them fight for you, like real males do in nature.
He literally wrote out a schedule. On it, there's a taco break, and a spot where I start crying.
Brb crying the tears of my youth
You continued to run around saying "free the nipple" while "taste testing" every liquor on the premises.
After we hooked up, his roommate shouted "I LIKE TO HAVE SEX TOO" from across the apartment
I woke up in your kitchen with my ID in my hand and my nails were painted electric blue. Dude.... never let me have fireball again.
I went next door to get a can opener from them. They opened the door shirtless, asked me if I wanted to a smoke a joint with them. Then decided to make blueberry smoothies. But the yogurt in the blender & the berries, got confused when the berries blended into the yogurt and just kept adding more. Only stopped when we ran out of berries.
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