Don't know whats worst me sharding on her a bit or her believing me when i told her she did it...
He was passed out on the floor holding a beer can, rolled over switched hands and never spilled a drop. We need to practice.
The little penguins are speaking with a hispanic accent. I dont know how to feel about it. Geographically speaking, this cant be possibly. This isnt cool.
You both must have been completely wasted because every once in a while we would hear you both stop and start singing to each other. At one point it was taylor swift.
the best thing about long term relationship is that the fact that i bothered to shave my legs today counts as a valentines gift
And this is the part where I need you not to judge me. Remember that I have never seen a penis do that and that I have a weird sexual curiosity
It's all fun and games until you throw up hot cheetos in your drawer.
Don't you dare blame me for walking in one walking in on ur fuck session....u decided to fuck where we hid our booze
He bought my favorite ceral.. I've guess I've earn the status as one of his regular fuck buddies. I feel honored and proud. His roommates girls don't get this treatment.
she came back from her house with A paper cut , a 2liter of sprite with Bacardi , and half a mustache . we're inviting her more ofte
You should have thought about how you were going to treat me before having me take photos of your asshole.
Well yes he stayed. He brought Guiness, them he shaved me. It's a long, but beautiful story.
Remember earlier when I was excited about finding that birth control pill in my purse? Definitely acid.
Well hell, he's gotta sleep in the bed he's made. Multiple times. For multiple girls I'm sure.
I hate when pretentious people talk bad ab corn dogs
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