I don't make mistakes...just understandable bad choices.
why are there post-it notes all around the apartment labeled where you guys had sex and in what position
i woke up with toilet paper straight tucked up in my underwear wearing a pizza sauce mustach. I dont think i got laid last night.
You guys were grinding to YMCA. I knew you were going to hook up with him.
Question: Would it be wrong to just fuck both of them and decide who to date one performance of their cocks?
Drinking with birthday clown in the backyard shed at a 5 year olds birthday party at 12 in the afternoon. My life doesn't need any adjustments
just fucked two guys in less than 12 hours. i miss this part of being single.
and by single i mean slutty
She seriously spent 30 minutes trying to make balloon animals out of my limp dick...
...
Exactly.
I want to name my colorful bowl Batman. Why? I still have yet to figure it out. But I'm calling it Batman.
So I don't know, I'm not a doctor, but I might be juggling dates with 3 different guys...
this is honestly why we're friends. we drink tea and plan to do drugs together.
Can I just say how funny it is that your "respect" tattoo is right above the bruise from me slapping your ass
We're lying on the pavement outside of the college. No one has asked if we're okay. I think they all understand.
After last night I am convinced that you are the human embodiment of alcoholism and bad decisions.
By the time I realized I was watching a Danish porno with muppets it was already too late
Randomize
