There is a semi-attractive guy at the door who's looking for you. Says he met you on Chatroulette. Start explaining NOW.
I threw up in the bar parking lot and yelled THIS IS MY FUTURE.
Druken naked yoga : jus another ploy to keep your husbands eye in check
Sitting here reading the internet and all i have to show for this summer is a shitty tan and the possible case of clamidia.
Would it be weird if your parents sold me weed?
And then my hands went numb and no one believed me so I started putting peoples cigarettes out on them. Shitty idea i'll tell you that much
Idk man, most things I eat are even better than I expected. Like when I drunkenly put mac and cheese on a slice of cheese pizza or when I soberly put mac and cheese into a Taco Bell burrito.
I just want to emotionally destroy him but also find out how big his dick is so this is perfect
I don't want my liquor store dad to judge me...
He called me Kitten either just because or he figured out my old s&m life. Either way huge turn on.
He's giving me the absolute bare minimum amount of attention. Like whatever motherfucker, I've had like six super likes on tinder today
This drink tastes like mosquito repellent.
I think I just got booty called by someone I've never slept with or even really had a conversation with before.
My liver is going to reject life during Greek Week
How many liver transplants can a person have? Bc you may need a couple
I spent half my night explaining that i'm in an open relationship to the guys that I liked, and the other half of the night explaining that I have a boyfriend to the guys that I didn't like.
Randomize
