why is it that everytime a half black man enters something boring, it suddenly becomes sexy to people? golf? the presidency?
is sleeping with your Political Science professor Politically incorrect?
Was he helping you 'cram' for your final, or just giving an oral exam?
It doesn't matter if he doesn't speak English because I speak the international language of blowies.
She broke both of her ankles trying to jump off the balcony. it's like every time she drinks she makes even more impressively bad decisions than the last time
It's almost like a boob-text, but it's not. Because it was live. And you were showing a bunch of people.
There are both cum and chocolate stains on my sheets. Can't decide whether this is a new low or a new high.
Justin just used the term "industrial strength colon blow".
Can I just text her like "yo sorry I fucked your boyfriend, let's go get sushi" or like nah
Just because your gf gives mediocre bjs doesn't mean I can fill that void
A check for $9 that I used to buy six boxes of Girl Scout cookies bounced. I think I've hit a new low.
Who told you that acid and Jurassic World was a good idea?
dont remember, but I'm pretty sure I was convinced that the hybrid dinosaur was satan the whole time. It was actually very spiritual
I don't get promposals. When I asked my date I was so drunk I couldn't lift my head. Then I puked on my lawn after he said "ok whatever". That's romance
After an orgasm, I always feel the urge to sing A Whole New World from the move Aladdin and I'm not quite sure why.
I can't believe my vagina just got wished happy new year
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
Randomize
