I may be a little high but I'm pretty sure my alphabet soup has only Os in it
We call that spaghetti Os
I opened up her dishwasher and all I found was a spoon, a juice glass and all her sex toys.
we used that portable toilet as a cooler to keep coronas. next person who tells me hospitals arn't fun needs to come party in rm 180.
nothing like a negative hiv test and a bag of condoms to brighten my day.
I shagged another guy with one ball last night. Are there really that many dudes with one nut in la or am I just a magnet for prostetic testes?
please remind me not to sleep with group members until after finals week.
you were asking all the dicks on chatroulette if they had daddy issues
all she had left on were here heels. phone five
I heard porn and smelled bacon cooking. I knew you had to be home.
Went home with a male stripper who looked like Justin Timberlake.. I started singing cry me a river mid sex. When he sang along I fell in love
I'm the catering manager, it's not my job to stop 2 teenagers from fucking in the bathroom. I couldn't bring myself to stop that sort of young romance anyway, that's what I pay you people for
Within the first 2 minutes of this morning, I found out the Lions lost on last play, and Scott Weiland died. I wont be in today.
Someone left a middle school yearbook here. I recognized one kid from banging his mom last year.
Please don't think I'm weird for texting you this at 12:08 am but I just found another picture on the Internet where I think you can see his dick through whatever he's wearing
The guy got mobbed on, all hell broke loose. About 20 cops showed up, and this kid somehow convinced a cop that letting him pee in front of him is justifiable. This guy could sweet talk Hellen Keller, he was THAT good
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