I don't wanna do a drive in or see a movie tonight. I wanna play some Golden Tee and butt fuck a girl in the bathroom of some bar and proceed with Golden Tee
Am I the only person who thinks Megan Fox looks totally like a Thai lady boy with a serious tanning bed fix?
i think a pirate just stole the rest of our fucking beer. what an appropriate costume.
if it walks like a guido and talks like a guido, i'm gonna fuck it.
you convinced me to pee myself because I was wearing dark jeans.
Can u check his last FB check in, then come pick me up from there. Blame it on the tequila
you kept introducing yourself to guys as "never going to happen"
Currently smoking a blunt with my one night stand's mom. I don't know how I should feel about this.
Haha I haven't even had my interview yet and I'm already trying to fuck my way to the top. 'Merica.
I don't get it. Why have babies when you can have vodka?
How do u explain to your grandma that your relationship status is hooking up with randoms at a bar
So I'm never gonna get to see you again?
Hopefully.
Blow Jobs and the Patriots Playing I think I’m going to marry her
I woke up with a pillow, shampoo and a plant in my fridge. Eggs in the toilet, and I was wearing three pairs of girls underwear. What happened last night
IDK if she's gay or not, but there is something about the way she looks at me that says "do dirty dirty things to me." I have no choice but to oblige.
Randomize
