weddingsv make me drug and hornr
Just caught my bro jerking off to a lane Bryant catalog
Sorry about your blender, your tiolet, your weed, and your dog...
I'm eager to hear this explaination.
He wouldn't let me ride him with a Ninja Turtles hat on...
Then me, her, and her mom snorted tequila. The bartender was in shock.
Code 10 We gotta leave. Now. I took a dump in the upstairs toilet and its clogged and overflowing, and believe me I don't want to have to explain myself to this frat on parents weekend.
The neighbor just yelled bring me back that big red alien penis.
The girl neighbor.
I told him that I wanted his dick like I wanted a jumbo hot dog. There something wrong with my priorities
I had sex with him and I blame the Doritos
I hate college football. It's really fucking with our phone sex schedule.
at this point, i'm only going to therapy to get more free condoms
annnnd thats why you don't tip your waiter by flashing them
You said you're gonna end your night with a six pack and awful erotica
Just got an x-ray done of my hip and you can clearly see the outline of my penis in it. When the doctor saw it she said "wow I haven't seen one that big on an x-ray before." Pretty sure the doc and the nurses are going to be talking about me on their lunch break.
Just because I'm asexual doesn't mean I can't have a revenge fuck.
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