Will you blow on my dice?
she was throwing up and singing "I HAD a feeling that tonight was going to be a good good night." And yeah she was still in her dress.
Fucked her within an inch of her life. Seriously. Don't choke bitches when they ask. Was way too drunk to be pulling that shit.
God my Facebook chat is a graveyard of old blowjobz
We were just at different life stages. He wanted to get married and have kids, I wanted to take MDMA and fuck my roommate.
By the taste of his semen he isnt vegetarian and therefore lied to me to take me home on a brighter note i stole his fondue set
She's posted my bail. Twice. Of course I'm going to be her wing girl.
Oh that could end badly if you get them mixed up.. you know who I think you should focus on?? THE ONE WITH THE BIG BLACK COCK, just sayin
MY MOM IS GOING TO SMOKE WITH ME.
SHE'S GOING TO SMOKE HIGH QUALITY MARIJUANA WITH ME.
I need a thor helmet and I need to find my heavy duty drinking mug
So is that the only criterion for shenanigans now? Don't die?
I finally got my restraining order in the mail. Was that supposed to upset me? I'm just over here like "TELLEM BOY BYE!-\nlegally..."
I remember yelling at him telling him that the strippers were "nice people."
So about that you can bill me for the chair but it was David's idea to jump from the window sill into the washer with "clothing pillows of cloudiness" to land on to get ahold of him you have to phone his mother
I just talked to her she really hates you like a lot
Sadly my Summer of Cocks is coming to an end
Randomize
