Your face is a jimmy john
it always starts out as a suggestion then three hours later I have cum in my eye.
i've been fucking this guy since february and just found out he might be uncircumsized. currently google image searching to confirm.
took out my tampon, fucked him, and put a new one back in all before he realized I was on my period. beat that one bitch.
I'm gonna answer everything she says with 'cum on da face' until she breaks up with me...great idea or greatest idea?
i'm out of college. that means no more sex on a twin bed. ever. i don't care how big his dick was. i'm classy like that.
Crashed the mayor's bday party, no list for some reason. Wore suits. Ludacris was there.
I'll have you know that I'm still picking duct tape residue off my wrist from sunday
Hey we need to step our game up. Dad has us beat; he stole a vending machine once.
You know what, don't even answer. Just promise me you'll go to the Corner of Shame when you get home.
I don't understand why you aren't on this trip all I do is smoke weed drink beer and get fingered
I knew full well that at some point during the night my penis would be out with this costume choice
I just googled "can they trace a vibrator back to you" so that' s how my life it going.
I just quoted part of the Pokemon theme song in a sext... And it worked
It’s so white trash that I almost have to have it.
Randomize
