Taylor Swift is so right about you.
So are you the girl that gave me herpes? or was that the girl from the night before
just googled chastity belt to see if it really exist..
This is a dangerous game of "whose life is more pathetic".
Apparently I had an idea for a cooking show and then proceeded to throw cookies at people.
Was that picture taken before or after I supposedly punched him in the face?
She wanted to to do it on top of a horse, I can't compete with that
I'm going to get high and eat ice cream until the pain goes away. You're welcome to join.
So now I know what having sex while surrounded by chickens feels like.
I supernannyed him into submission
Idk I've taught my 18 month old how to say nipple so kids aren't all bad
Currently sifting through all the dick pics and nudes for a picture of my dad and I to post on social media for Father's Day...
Wasted. And I have 5 pounds of potatoes that I'm responsible for.
The free coupon that printed out with the purchase of my plan b emergency contraception was for allergy meds. I feel like a coupon for condoms would've been more fitting in this situation.
Oh wait. It's for wart remover. Fitting, afterall.
We keep making plans but he keeps getting arrested. Such a tease
Randomize