I'm not a real person
I'm sorry, everyone knows that
Why did you video tape me drying my boxers in the microwave?
I lost control in the snow and hit a parked car. I went into our building to get a pen and paper to leave a note and when I came back the car was gone and there was a hot girl there. I used the pen and paper to get her number.
I feel like I would bang a guy with a dick piercing just to say I have...like climbing a huge mountain or somethig
This is random, but did i give u a handjob in the middle of the night or was that a dream?
we made out at a charity event. really i was helping the fight against aids...
Definately laid on the floor of the shower this morning drinking the water as it fell on me.
Is it too early to start pregaming for St. Patty's?
I just dried my bra with your hair straightener because the drier is broken again.
i refuse to give everyone the satisfaction of seeing the results of my acting on my thoughts
The stripper told Tom to sort his life out
drunk me cartwheeled over a turtle sandbox & slit my foot open on a cinder block. how do you explain that to a doctor?
i told him the only way i'd fuck him was if he saved me during the zombie apocolypse and took me to a tastefully decorated yet impenetrable hideout.
I woke up at 6:30 in the morning on the A train on 14th street. You wouldn't know anything about that right?
home. only unpacked the necessities...contact case and beer.
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