so he came on my face and then proceeded to say "that was just how i imagined it would happen"
where do you find these guys?
I don't know if it was the room or her, but as soon as the pants came off, it smelt like a locker room and old man farts.
I just asked the contractor building my house what it would cost to put a garbage disposal in all the shower drains...there was a lot of judging going on.
I think I'm getting too used to throwing up in the reception trash can. It doesn't even phase me anymore
All I I know is that there's 2 new contacts in my phone. Drunk Backdoor and Gayass Handshake. Thanks, Jameson.
I cannot take someone's straight and gay virginity in one threesome. It's just too much responsibility.
Oh my fucking god you idiot bitch just get here forget about the vodka the fucking cops are looking for you
I guess, all I remember was giving you road head the whole way there so you wouldn't fall asleep.
Come now. I'm bloody but I'll give you the best fuck of your life.
I just called my boyfriend "Dad"... Awkward
Mark my words I will never date another cop again. I don't care if he's JESUS.
when in doubt, mount your coworker in the staff room.
Fun. You missed it. Michael broke a door with his erection.
hey man , the girl you brought home last night is in the kitchen puking in the sink and asking if she can have more shots of Whiskey....think i should give her a shot glass or send her home....
Hahaha. I'm so high, this is gonna be so intense. Even the DVD menu scared the shit out of me.
Randomize
