yo i just woke up i feel so weird, and the absolut is still fill, so is the 30, what the fuck did we drink last night man? And will you please come out of the bathroom.
Bro... we didn't even hang out last night??
It all came flooding back to me: there was a woman with one hand
just passed a tour group on my way home. the guide actually said: 'and THAT kids is whats known as the walk of shame'
then they high fived as they party boyed me. I was a policewoman sandwhich. I love you halloween.
I just caught Brandon licking the fake chocolate on a smores ornament
Also, do you think you think his dick is perfect bc you loved him? Or is it actually perfect?
Dorm room. In. Elevator. Fell in. Boom. Puke
Finished the final in under ten minutes and then puked in the bushes outside. I don't even care if I graduate anymore.
I'd rate him "doable" on a scale from "ew, run" to "you should've already fucked him".
That's about an "8" on normal scales.
WHY DO SO MANY HOBOS THINK I'M CUTE.
I'm pretty sure that's why we have such good sex because we are secretly trying to kill each other
I'll never lecture you, go get that dick baby girl make momma proud,I didn't raise no quitter
I wrote myself a note last night telling me to tell you that you're the best person ever, and asking you not to tell me what I did, I think I'm trusting my drunk judgment on that one.
I came and sneezed at the same time. Words can't describe how awesome it was.
Help. Why am I so naked?
Randomize
