We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
He about cried when I ordered pizza online. He said it was a miracle.
I'm not sure if doing him was such a good idea. Yes the sex was good, but I'm scared I set myself up for failure in 2011 because he's the hottest guy. Ever.
The stripper had a daughter my age and offered to introduce us. I didn't know what to say to that.
Hahaha I asked him about her bjs and he said "I would not wish that on anyone"
I also found a beer label in my bra and I'm pretty sure you put it there and said "this means I trust you"
There should be a rule. If your dick is under 6 inches, you are not allowed to dress as Thor.
Are you alive?
I woke up under the pier.
Then he texted me that I was the "good kind" of fat.
He told me"I think your ready for this" and went into his closet whipped out a movie certiffied light saber.
I told my fuck buddy that I wanted one of his arms to take home with me to hold onto in bed and he was hurt that I didn't want to bring him, like as a person, home to my family. I feel like you and only you could appreciate this.
...Just this whole adulting thing gets in the way of mermaid drag shows at lesbian bars.
I think I'm so comfortable in my sexual relationship because he mostly wants to see me naked with large plates of bacon tastefully placed upon my body
i was really depressed when i left the health dept this morning after i had to write a higher number next to "partners" than "age"
Its nights like last night that make me want to high five my liver.
Randomize
