just saw my sister at the strip club... dont think she's "taking a night class over the summer"
God is so good, I would give him a blow job right now.
Dude. Creed is coming in september.
We're no longer friends.
part of me always dies a little when i go to the "2 women seeking 1 man" section in craigslist's casual encounters to find nothing there. it's tragic
Just found out Brianna Frost the Pornstar goes to my school. Makes that $35,000 tuition that more valuable.
the weed was in a baggy that had little penguins on it. i am so excited you have no idea
I'm pretty sure I just had a convo with my hot pockets about how they weren't good enough for the oven.
I'm not sure what happened. But I must have won because I obviously stole two full pitchers of beer from the bar and taped a note on them saying "your welcome"
Would it be totally inappropriate to have his frat and our sorority Teebowing our exit from the abortion clinic?
If she "comes out" to me I guess I'll high five her. That's pretty much my response to everything these days.
Did you put Dave Matthews band on the playlist? It's really hard to funnel when "Crash Into Me" kicks in.
Should probably stop going into the gas station to look for the most normal person to hitch a ride with to drive me to a party
Is it normal for a guy to send you a dick pic along with “He misses you”
He goes "what would you say if I told you I like to get it in?" def a potential soulmate right there.
He almost got to me tonight but then I was like fuck it I'm going to dance with a teli-tubby on the bar so fuck you
Randomize
