You got so drunk you kept singing the Sailor Moon theme song and kept making everyone call you Sailor Venus.
what made it akward was his girlfriends dog watching us have sex
i'm ready for this baby to gtfo so i can get coked out.
It was one of those "I have no idea if this will ever happen again so I can't say no" opprotunities. Part of me was like, "You slut" and the bigger part was screaming, "Hell yeah"
He compliments me like a gay guy and fucks me like a starved nympho. I'm in love.
Care to explain why there is sushi in the soap dish in the bathroom
When you consider the sheer number of events that had to occur in order to prevent me from fucking her, there must be a god
Dude where are you? I've been here an hour and all I've done is get head from a random in the stairwell.
First poop in my apartment for the summer, officially settled in. :)
I thought you couldn't go near Germans after that restraining order
I had a dream last night that I answered the phone and after I said hello, Shia Lebeouf started yelling "DO IT! JUST DO IT!" That's when I knew, I had officially become meme trash.
There is a dude riding on one of those standing wheel things inside forever 21. Calm down.
I HAVENT HAD A NICE A NICE DICK SINCE FEBRUARY!! I WANNA KEEP THIS ONE!!!
2017 is gonna be explosive... Already watching fireworks out the window while shit my brains out. Happy Ew Year
I know we're not on great terms here, but I need to know if you're still available for sexual activity...cause if not I need to get going on a work-out plan.
Randomize
