I was just walking through Burbank and saw a hobo using solar panels on his shopping cart. We must be in trouble if the hobos are researching alternative sources of fuel...
So I thought I was slick leaving his room this morning all incognito. Little did I know I was wearing his football jersey with his name across the back... stilettos & my bra was left behind. never seeing that again
38 yer olds are good kisserssss
Ya! She had a north face on tho so she was a classy hooker.
So what if i ate it off the ground. Its like i found a five dollar bill just laying there, in burrito form.
He offered to take me out to a nice dinner but I told him I would rather he just pay for my beer this weekend
Wait time out. Did I start last night with pants?
Isn't it statistically impossible for THAT many ugly people to be in one place at one time?
I just watched dragonflies fucking. You can't match that level of geek.
i just keep picturing us drunk surrounded by kittens.
So if a girl goes for it you're gonna stop her and tell her you gave up ejaculation for lent?
although steph and I had 3 bottles of wine by that point and watched an opera that featured a black dildo so anything was possible really
At least his std test came back clean, gotta look at the positives here
I accidentally sent a snap of my puss with the Republican filter... Totally killed his boner
I said "one day" and that day is not today
Randomize
