I told him I was prego. He asked coul we do it without a condom now since I cldn't get any pregnanter. What an a-hole.
trust me, there is no more disappointing feeling in the world than waking up at 4 in the morning with a random half naked chick in your bed and then realizing your roommates girlfriend just wandered into the wrong room.
Yeah i knew he wasn't okay when he told me he was "seeing his vision"
He picked me up went to throw me on his bed. I landed on the wood frame. That's how I broke my rib. We still fucked. Thanks tequila. Best injury ever
On another note, why did I wake up wrapped in bubble wrap. I can only assume it was for my own safety
When did I go from having sugar daddies to being one? And does it count as a tax write off?
We could have had it all. And by all I mean sex in your Toyota Corolla.
She shoved a hot dog in my pocket and started grinding on it.
Side note: the physics of a guy my size and age getting laid in the backseat of a Toyota Camry are absolutely staggering
His mom finally got over her shame and smoked a bowl with us. Merry Christmas to all aka me.
He was eating my ass and came up for air, I almost choked laughing because he had a toilet paper cling on stuck in his mustache
She used my 100 Ways To Cope With Stress handout to wipe puke off her face
And somehow i feel like your expectations will turn out to be illegal in some way.
Oh fuck, I'm officially a cougar..he's got the same name as my grandson
According to the rule of quantum porn mechanics, the mere thought of something kinky causes it to exist. So out there, somewhere, there is already riddler/smurf porn...
Randomize
