But if ***** wants to get filthy... Tell her to throw a text my way ;)
alone in the kitchen at 4 am eating a hotdog.
if i remember New Year's Eve then there is something seriously wrong.
you hid your keys in a box of lucky charms because drunk you was apparently going to eat them for breakfast...
I just hotboxed my laundry basket.
I just scratched behind my ear and found icing. Fuck you.
It's barely 9 am & I've already had an ice cube IN my vagina
Slept with my first Irish dude before I even got off the plane. Dublin has no idea what I have in store for it.
google maps should a have a setting for this. like I AM ABANDONING EVERYTHING TO MEET A GIRL WHO IS 10 HOURS OF MILES AWAY. HOW DO WE DO THIS OPTIMALLY?
You gotta pick a side. My suggestion: side with tits.
I can't wet the bed. That was the old me. I'm grown
Oh my god
I vaguely remember us chasing shots by licking each other's faces last night. Our friendship has reached another level completely.
Holy shit I've found my last one night stand in my Gran's knitting club
Ugh... The hoe gods giveth and the hoe gods taketh away.
FUCK YOU IM DRINKING WINE FROM A BOX
You okay there or need a ride? Maybe a straw for your box
Maybe a straw...
Randomize
