Apparently 151 is to me what spinach is to popeye.
Just took a closer look at the paper that kid wrote me his number on. It was an ATM receipt. His balance is $17.89. i made the right choice.
Did you know the Dallas Cowboy cheerleaders have an exercise show ON Demand? Yeah, I had a lonely night
When you're opening a bottle of tequila with a golf club, it's probably time to stop drinking...
he's werid. hell kiss me after i go down on him but he wont kiss me after i eat anything with mustard.
You know i think she's just using me for sex
I hate you.
I ended up passing out on the shitter for like an hour with mcds smoothie all over my face
I'd be 10x more excited if going out didn't require pants or the general giving of fucks
I need a genital shamwow being this wet.
I was telling my friend about your penis and the only word I could think of was voluptuous. You have a voluptuous dick.
I know. His dick was small at the top and got bigger at the bottom, like a fucking curling wand.
HE BEAT A GUY WITH NOTHING BUT RAZZLE DAZZLE AND HIS FABULOUSNESS
the moment when you open a dick pic with your mom in the car... On your moms phone... Of your dad... Scarred for life
well i blew him then my wife blew him, so im guessing we'll be seeing him around, yeah
Hi I love you will you be up for a while!
That exclamation point was a drunk decision
Randomize
