We had to be out of the dorms at 730. Meeting started at 8. I woke up at 948. Drunk and covered in glitter.
I'm getting drunk watching the disney channel. Is this a main reason why we aren't together anymore?
love makes seman taste better
the next morning i told him i was impressed that he remembered my name. he said it wasn't that hard when "tracy
He says he quit drinking. I'd like to have a moment of silence for losing the best drunken hookup ever. We will build a memorial to his awesome cock.
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
So I woke up in a strange bed with a note taped to my arm giving me directions back to my brothers apartment.
your house isnt even gonna be on google maps after this party
In my next life I better get to be a bird. Fuck flying. I'm gonna shit on your car. Every. Day.
Note to self; if you can light it on fire, you probs shouldn't drink it
I didn't even know this guy existed until he'd had his hands down my pants, so I just went with it.
You were in the girls bathroom yelling at some random chick because you thought she stole all the urinals. That's why you were kicked out.
Sexting my TA in lecture = awesome
Questions: How did Rachel get home? Why did I find both her ID's in my shoes? And does anyone know if she's alive?
Just when I thought we may have our first low-key night together, I sang an Aladdin karaoke song to a bunch of roller derby girls, you took shots with married women, and we both fell asleep in our offices.
Randomize
