Funny thing- my attraction to each one is inversely proportional to his level of availability.
I was 10 minutes late leaving for lunch today because I couldn't lose a boner. It is impossible to tuck it when your shirt is tucked in...gotta quit facebook stalking hot chicks at work
no, I didn't make it. Instead, i watched VH1 for... 13 hours? I use the question mark because I was using Flavor Flav's clocks to tell time after the first 3 hours.
Guess what I'm doing tomorrow?
Becoming a productive member of society?
Sam. Come on.
We got so high we made milksteak
His facebook status is an owl city song. I'm so glad i didn't end up fucking him.
I just dropped macaroni right down my cleavage. For the sake of our future, I'm really banking on this being a turn on for you.
Are you seriously trying to guilt me into sending you naked pictures by saying "So I can look at them during dialysis" ?
Is it working?
But Alex is drunk in Philly and I told him to come see me so that's "first-love,-drunk,-high,-and-it's-a-snow-day-hook-up-with-an-ex" points. 69
I now own a bag of cigarettes and have no purse, awesome
I've slipped into the part of my life where I am not having sex to get Phils tickets from this chick. I need to seriously rethink my life decisions
I had to have the guy I went out with last night come pick me up from the hotel the next morning after I ditched him for a firefighter..don't even talk to me about a walk of shame
Meant to have fun, ended up giving speech about consent to guy at bar. Feminist side feels happy. Orgasms side feels confused and betrayed.
When are you going to accept the fact he is gay?
Come on... He's just practicing.
Ok. That's acceptable.
I dropped my pants and she just stared until she asked how is that even possible? Best night ever lmao
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