I have a hot bod, but my face sucks, what can i do?
I haven't shaved so I have to behave myself. I'm going to do this from now on.
WHO ATE OUR COOKIES WHAT THE FUCK THOSE WERE GOURMET
I have the Lakers game on, but all I can think about is having sex with you. Not sure what you've done here.
i dont think the girl sending me nudes is qualified to pass judgement on me
I legit just said "vaginal access denied" then told him his password hint was "tequila shots"
No worries. It'll grow back. I mean, hey, my eyebrows grew back after he shaved them off. So it's all good.
My living room is scattered with glow sticks wrappers, sparklers, face paint & beer cans?
It's not as cool looking when the drugs wear off, is it?
He said he only likes girls with a sense of humor, after he took his pants off I understood why
So i am officially handcuffed to the pole on the party bus while taking jello shots.....this shall be an interesting night
If you got me high enough to laugh at a ceiling fan until I shat my pants you should at least have the decency to buy me another pair
Just drink your champagne out of a trophy like a fuckin winner
I should be trashily making out with an air force cadet in the beach volleyball court by now
That's not "anything", that's you deep throating a mozzarella stick.
when you shit yourself on the way to school its time to give up and go home
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