My mom foundout about my dui nd just called me to come home. I just took acid like 30 min ago. Wht should i do?
I woke up with a picture of my dick as my background. still wondering if it was a good night or not.
i recognized the place by the puke stain i left on the pool table when i hooked up with his roommate.
The last thing I remember is funneling tequila out of a pink noodle.
no i brought the cat to the bar. I got a weird look when I walked in but now everyone loves her.
I feel like I'm taking part in a surprise porno. At least my hair looked good.
We all have our weaknesses that drive us crazy. We happen to have one in common, 21 year olds. Your secrets safe. Touch his penis.
Like sorry you chose to have an attractive girlfriend dude
Maybe I'm nitpicking, but that looked more like how one would jerk off an elephant than it did playing air guitar.
The nun costume is coming back hard and it still has glitter and the smell of Vegas on it.
Best. Text. Ever.
It's the warm chocolate goeyness of a brownie combined with the heavenly taste of weed-smell... Why have I never done this before?
Can I come by? I want you to meet my squirrel
So besides your brother walking in on you shaving and singing "I'm gonna get asssss" how was your night
Have you ever gotten such awesome underwear you wish you didnt have to wear pants?
I know you’re not my dad, but you’re someone’s dad. You’re also like a second dad to me as well. And one who I send nudes to as well. Happy Father’s Day
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