This frat boy drinking a forty and wearing a pussy patrol shirt just ran out in front of my car. I should have used less brakes.
We're doing a case race on Saturday.
I'm in. I'm currently drinking a beer in the bathtub so I guess I can consider this "practice" and not just "alcoholism"
Just found out the guy that gave me herpes died. now everytime I get a flare up, it'll be like he's coming back to say hello
my goal is to not remember how i make a living by 9pm saturday night
okay. so this hammed chick got arrested and she keeps trying to make out with the cop. i like her style.
Not sure. No solid plans. Just tanning nude.
I love you. Thanks for all the blowjobs.
I'm gonna be a few minutes late, some asshole just fell off the ferry so we had to stop.
I woke up on the toilet with my feet gorilla glued to the floor, cake and makeup on my face and my hand glued to my head.
Welcome to the world of vodka. Rule #1: NEVER PASS OUT. Happy 21st
I feel like we need a drunken piñata bash with your face being the piñata and my hopes and dreams being the stick
The last thing I remember is goading each other into a vodka-chugging competition.
the shoes thing blows my mind idk how the fuck i did that and im also missing 4 of my birth control pills like did i drunkenly decide to overload my body with estrogen
video games take priority over anything else you can offer me.
I'm eating shredded cheese and chugging coke, until I can function again. I'm tingling everywhere
I just used an Amazon gift card from a student to order a new vibrator....teacher of the year
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