so i just saw your dad embarking upon a biking journey in full reflective gear
...this stays between you and me
if by 'bottleservice' you mean 'bringing beers in my purse' then yes, we are.
i leave for school in 3 days. if you want your annual goodbye blow job you should probably call me
He sat there and debated the pros and cons of hooking up with me
Maybe its all the xanax she takes but she literally has NO shame
i feel this will be the best possible way to start a friendship. By breaking into his house.
i promise the blood crusted on your tits is from him motorboating you after he tripped into the pool stick. nothing else.
i think that after ALREADY drinking that much, the tube shots may have been a bad idea.. i mean afterall, i did wake up and find my cell phone IN the bonfire the next morning.
Well as our DD it was my responsibility to get us home safely. If that meant strapping you down to the backseat using all 3 seatbelts then so be it.
Yeah but then he looked at me bleeding on the floor, said oh i guess you need to go to the hospital now, and left
Irrelevant. Does he have queso? That's the real question.
Your father is wrapped in a table cloth singing, "America Fuck Yeah!" You are missing the time of your life.
My greatest achievement in life thus far is being the go to friend when you have questions about butt plugs.
with the way the semester is going, being a stripper is starting to sound better and better everyday
We just FaceTimed and I put an Oreo in my vagina for him. Now he has to fly across the globe for me.
Randomize
