my weekend in 10 words or less: hot friend of a friend, open bar, beach house, sore. In that order too.
I sent out a mass text that said "margaritas for Jesus?" and nobody responded, worst Easter ever.
He kept saying 'your mouth is Amazing' even after I was on his dick.
You pulled down your pants, pissed in the recliner, and wiped yourself with my utility bill. I thought it was in the worlds best interest to put you to bed.
I pretty much landed into this relationship penis first
Itll be like a collage of penis. And not that abstract, one penis in a big painting contemporary shit. Collage....
I woke up on top of his counter next to a pot of boiling water and an empty package of ramen... what happened to the ramen, we will never know.
with a cock that big I don't even care that he makes a convincing drag queen
You were spooning an empty magnum of white wine in the middle of the bed so I slept on the couch
Well at least there's no more confusion about your place in my life. Wine > pizza > your dick > the rest of you.
Love you...
Mom and I are both drunk and walking around the Strip. It's like the hangover but with a lot more bathroom breaks.
Go christen that room with your naked body.
It's a good thing he's hot, because it seemed like he was trying to do CPR on my private parts
So this is my life now? Laying in bed texting about Hulk penis?
I'm eating shredded cheese and chugging coke, until I can function again. I'm tingling everywhere
How much glitter would I have to ingest in order for a "magnificent" amount to appear in my ejaculate?
Randomize
