my number is 615-555-1212, <3 your favorite asshole
idk, it's all black and i hear low talking...
dude, i think you're in initiation!
shit. that's not good.
I just woke up in bed with 4 girls. Either i dont remember the best night of my life or they think im gay.
He wouldnt get hard, then started talking about his ex wife. I literally rolled over and started to cry
So guess who had sex in a Ghostbusters sleeping bag.
He literally just walked in some random persons house and walked right to they're pantry. Then five minutes later he walks out with pop-tarts, mac and cheese, and captain morgan. We need to chill with this kid more often.
We picked up some guys dressed as shamrocks at taco bell. I will text you with further information.
I got home and laid by the toilet and then alexa laid in the bathtub and sang the preamble while kayla held my hair
I took my exam the next day still drunk and failed, but I kno for a fact that I filled in the bubbles for my name perfectly
Do you think you're physically and mentally capable of killing me? Because I'd really appreciate it.
Oh my god, it's like someone broke the off button in my butthole
STOP TRYING TO FUCK MY DAD
THE HOT GUY IS YOUR DAD?!?!?!?!???
I met someone else! And I had a wonderful orgasm! And he wants to see me again, like take me out!
he was wearing a widestriped red gingham suit jacket with complete sincerity im not surprised she beat the shit out of him
Just found out my dad smokes weed too. Mom, grandma, all aunts and uncles, and now my dad too. It's like I'm genetically engineered to be a stoner.
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