she is unbelievable! ever pee on a girl?
not while she was awake
meow
WTF. STOP SENDING ME ANIMAL NOISES. ITS FUCKING WEIRD.
anyone who buys me chipotle gets an automatic hj
Stuck in the Dallas airport. At the bar. Everytime a flight to DC gets cancelled, I'm takin a shot. Fuck you snow.
Not even desperate vagina wants small cock.
Glad to hear you raised your standards
Exactly. So he deserves crazy "thanks for keeping me out of jail" sex. Or an "I'm glad your excessive cocaine habit had some positive outcomes" blowjob.
You rode him down the last flight of stairs like a human sled.
On that note I give you a 10 for sticking the landing and staying on the whole ride.
Maybe it's the vicodin, but all I wanna do is hunt wild hogs.
I'm at the perfect height to walk up to the corner of my mom's stove and rest my balls on it. Just thought you'd like to know they're warm.
Let's drink?
Just because it's bacon vodka doesn't mean it's for breakfast.
I am convinced that after two dates and a few adult sleepovers that he still doesn't know my name.
This wedding is gonna be a disaster. I already had to turn down one of the groomsmen who offered me $100 to sleep with him next wknd.
Too low?
Yes.
I can't believe she made out with my 15 year old brother. That kid can seriously pull.
He's sweet and rough. A wonderful contradiction. He's the starburst of sex.
i just had to ask the gas station attendant what state i was in... winning at life.
im in missouri by the way.
Randomize
