Omg just want to confirm: got drunk, naked in street, fucked in bathroom and puked on bart.
I'm making a conscious effort to limit my spending at the bars...i wrote "FOR CAB ONLY" on a $20 last night
dude she was so drunk she thought Jim Joyce made the right call
you wanted the guy to gift wrap the condoms
Also I may have a condom stuck inside me, but I won`t know til I check the couch coushions.
I had to explain to my dentist that my tooth was chipped because we designated my mouth as the official way to open beer. I feel like our level of partying is no longer socially acceptable.
We were so drunk that when I broke the bottom off a pint glass we decided to make it into a candle holder. How does that happen?!
Well she started to strip and when she slung her hair at me, she painted my face with sweat. A LOT OF SWEAT. It was a weird boner.
are you putting in a lot of effort today like appearance wise
I am taking my rightful place as emperor of the undead appearance wise
This power is too much for most humans to handle safely. It's like having the nuclear launch codes, except it's my penis.
Well. I think my red tank top is jinxed. this is now the second time it's gotten jizz on it.
No, I'm not a heathen. You two are the heathens, I'm the whore.
last night is slowly putting itself back together. Its one giant slutty puzzle, all the pieces are covered in tequila and shame.
I just revenge puked in his shoes. This is gonna be a fun night :)
When do you think the murder is going to happen in this Lifetime movie of ours?
Randomize
