I want leopard sheets
haha sexcapades
thats the plan
who let me buy 6 packs of big league chew? and eat them all? thats not cool
so then they started chanting "LET'S GET A LITTLE BIT SCHWASTED. S-H-W-...WASTED!" theres nothing like partying with former high school cheerleaders
today was the first day of rush. talking to girls all day makes me sick of having a uterus.
I have your dog in a headlock. Se wants my mushrooms.
when life gives you lemons, puke and rally.
This guy just told me he wanted to bathe in bong water with me and then tried to lick my nipple through my bra. This could be love.
why is my underwear the only thing i was wearing that smells like vodka?
THAT IS NOT SOMETHING YOU TELL SOMEBODY THE FIRST TIME YOU MEET THEM IN THE DARK.
He can only pee with the faucet running. It's like I'm dating a fucking toddler.
You are under a naked attack watch for the whole weekend. Shelter in place.
my experiences serve only to benefit you young virgin
When she's hammered the amount of alliteration that comes out of her mouth is amazing.
if he becomes president of the united states, I will tell EVERYONE that i took his virginity.
Please tell me that nice older woman you're with at the bar is not your comp&lit professor.
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