She def said "you had your chance!" after telling me she had a boyfriend. Like a pile of dogshit lecturing me on how I missed out on having itself stuck to the bottom of my shoe.
i have to start hiding my credit card when i drink i woke up this morning with 4 emails from Farmville telling me i spent over $800 on coins last night
walked right past julianne moore (on her walk of shame this morning) god i love new york. :)
i have a bunch of little boys around me trying to hit on me
dont be selfish, show some boob
Dude, we totally smoked up inside a church organ last night. Add this to the epic list.
Why would vodka do this to me? I've always been loyal
Just so everyone's clear, it was already on fire when I got there.
I remembered to bring wine in a nalgene bottle, but I forgot sunscreen and water. I'm starting to question my life decisions.
Want to get naked in Baltimore this weekend?
Dude it was bad... like you fell asleep around the toilet after drinking from the back tank bad.
Can we talk about how i drunkenly changed the timezone on my phone last night and just showed up to work an hour early
Yupp. He's definitely a screamer.
Danny put 5 hr energy in the jungle juice (that brilliant bastard) and I almost showed my penis to Alex. It was a rough night.
hey. this is your former cousin. you boned my best friend last night.
Either I'm getting old or the shit show is playing earlier than it used to...
Randomize
