If facebook stalking was a job I would totally pown it
It's amazing how much jurassic park has contributed to my life recently
chasing shots of tequilla with sun chips. its doable but not recommended
everytime she opens her mouth i wish that i was deaf
When I told my boss I'm using a vacation day for 4/20, he gave me his personal cell phone number and winked at me.
Walking back from greek row alone at 3:30am in a child's kangaroo suit...not my proudest moment
this is random but who was banging in the shower in our condo?
She just told me her legs are numb and that she dedicated her karaoke of ice ice baby to her 4 month old son.
I need to stop getting so excited when a guy unzips his pants and its bigger than my boyfriends. I look like a kid in a candy store.
Two shots of gin says this is gonna be a sloppy lab write up.
The funny thing is, we kinda did bring guys home cause you had a fort...
A little sexual choking never killed anyone. And if it did, they died happy.
what i'd really like is a nice helping of naked boyfriend with a side of naked boyfriend.
And why in he fuck did I get 'dick' in Romanian tattooed on my forearm
How are you and your magical vagina doing today?
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