How, after 24 years of life, did I manage to revisit breastmilk
I wish i could tell a story about guys I know without the phrase "and then I blew him." coming up.
We've finally come to the understanding that as long as our conversation stays stricaly sexual, we get along.
I don't think I own any pants that haven't seen his bedroom floor anymore...
I don't think i can handle my uncle say again that kid rock is a true musician....
It's like his dick is pushing through his pants and driving him over here.
Just be happy that you're the pretty friend. Otherwise you would have had to walk home alone, like me.
Almost just bought a peacock. I need to get off Craigslist
We could all 3 jump out of a cake in just tophats. A true marble cake.
He's an acquired taste, like S&M or those crunchy things they put in salads
Croutons?
I'm sitting outside your room listening for sex noises eating pepperoni...slowly
She looks like a beluga.
I want to splash her with water and when she screams say "I didn't want you to die. You looked parched"
I decided to do drugs in front of her because if anyone can handle the truth it's a ghost
Getting a UTI was SO NOT on my wishlist for the holidays
Ur creepiness is now affecting my life and I'm not okay with it
Randomize
