??? When I first met her at the bar, she told me she was 23. After I bought her 3 shots of tequila, she told me she was really only 21. When we went back to my house, she said she was really only 19. She's still sleeping next to me butt naked. I'm afraid if she opens her mouth again I could be looking at 10 years.
sometimes you just have to masturbate at your friend's house.
So did the night end well for you?
I stole a traffic cone and drunk texted my sister because i couldn't think of any other girl to text
there were no ball for pong so he bought cat toys..... they had bells in them
I understand Curling. That high.
I just banged two guys while dressed like an angel. I love this holiday.
Did I ever tell u about how my buddy fucked peter coors's daughter and made a tshirt that said I TAPPED THE ROCKIES with her picture on it?
I apologize for getting really drunk, taking off my shirt, bitching someone out, crying, and breaking something at your party next weekend...
apparently it's a turnoff if you ask a guy why he thinks he needs to use magnums
i woke up in just my socks. my clothes were outside, he had rugburn on his elbows, and a window was broken.
There's a whistle here and I just want to play my whistle song on it.
He compared my vagina to his favorite T-shirt. I don't know if I should take that as a compliment or not..
Nothing says I love you like a silicone dragon dick
You know something is wrong with your life when your mom is at the bar getting free tequila shots and you aren't
she broke the sink..i repeat the sink is off the wall. send help
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