My dad hugged me and said I love u. I'm glad I didn't pull out that night.
The chick I went home with last night had a happy trail
Come put a leash on your gf. She just challenged 8 cops to a wrestling match for 'tag team champion of the world'
They were like stripper heels, except business stripper heels, the kind strippers would wear to court.
i think it would be like really awesome if scientist could genetically engineer manatees to be like the size of goldfish so i could have one in my fishbowl and be like FUCK YEAH TINY MANATEE
Your therapist is not going to think that you using your vagina as revenge is okay
I feel if a girl leaves my house the next morning feeling degraded and in desparate need of a shower, then I have succeeded.
she was passed out on the moving sidewalks in the airport, we NEED to travel more often
Find a vagina and bring it to me. Like feeding a tiger.
I totally intended to come to the hotel, but I woke up in a parking lot
The struggle is real.
ok NEVER tell the strippers its your birthday. i think i have to burn these clothes and take a bath in bleach
Dude she's from Moscow. I feel like I'm cheating on America.
how should I feel if a guy kept complimenting my bangs while I was giving him a blowjob?
Damn Instagram explore page. I am six months in to some girl I don't even know.
Howd last night go?
well he stumbled in my parents door drunk and then asked my mom if she was my grandma. Id say as far as first impressions go, he failed miserably
Randomize
