He finally told me that he's married. I guess it doesn't really matter.
it was a mass text i'm sorry
do you usually send 'hey sexy' as a mass text?
Can we please not be like these pathetic people in their thirties who only get drunk when they go see Sherrill Crow?
Pretty certain he passed out for a while going down on me. Absolutely certain he passed out during the blow job.
Despite what happened tonight, Im still expecting Jesus birthday sex
I can't tell if I'm hungover or if my cat just knocked the lamp on my face
NO. ANAL IS NOT A GAME.
I'm throwing in the towel on today. The puke gods have won this war
You had a fry stuck to your face... Every five mins you would wake up, take a bite, put it back then fall asleep again...
I think I just pulled an onion peel off my boob from sleeping on their kitchen floor
So, I without a doubt haven't used the bag I'm now carrying since we were dating. Just had to discreetly throw out an unopened magnum in a bus station.
I don't think you understand...I'm really good at getting drunk
We had sex on the tiger blanket while I was wearing my Ukrainian shirt and my ass touched the Ukrainian flag. Happy 25th Ukraine!
Now just crop his dad out and add it to the spank bank.
My nipples are raw, I've yet to go to bed, I feel like death, and I'm at work. Thank you jack, crown, and Lafayette!
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