Did I tell you he has dinosaur sheets?
im officially scared..,i finally realized who my boyfriend reminds me of! spencer pratt
everyone knows that carl winslow was the sexiest man in die hard.
you left a giant bottle of vodka in my room from last night. does this serve as a parting gift or hush money?
The guy at McDonald's just told us there is no flash photography allowed.
My last two google searches are "shiny things" and "Ohio consent laws." you should visit more often.
I had to keep telling myself 'you can't be mad at him because you peed on him'
Uh yeah can we get an age of consent check on Dave's penis?
Age of consent, Dave's penis. Thank you...
so it took us like 45 minutes to get into the party.... then when we wanted to leave we were blocked and forced to stay.
....you got kicked INTO a party??
Get his dick out of your ass and put on some pants we're here
Hypothetically speaking, when I get a sugar glider would it be frowned upon to bring it Ito classes with me in m pocket?
I just paid a hobo to give me his Santa hat so I can take Christmas nudes. Will send them later, they're fire.
Hypothetically speaking of course, is it bad if a cat eats lube?
Just puked most of my soul out..
all i remember is walking home without my pants on... when i woke up i was sleeping in between my parents in their bed, no more whiskey wednesdays
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