East Village: Only place you can play pac man while eating a pineapple hotdog, go to the bar next door and see a graphic blowjob on every tv
You can now add 30,000 feet to the places where I have puked
dude ... she has a full length mirror in her shower, don't even tell me shes not dtf
Her divorce is going to cut into the amount of time we spend fucking.
I'm in awe of how selfish that is.
nothing like baby laughter to ruin a masturbation moment
Would it be safe to assume you're the one that left my front door wide open and left yourself a trail of jaeger drops to find your way back?
the only good thing about breaking up with him while naked was that i got to make a forgetting sarah marshall reference
I was super naked---except I kept my shoes on, because I'm a lady, and I was bent over a bar.
I vote we get high and sneak off to McDonald's to get mcflurries.
YES. ALL MY YES.
Ok thats it i need a list. Full names, nicknames, in which frats, with a photo, of all the guys youve hooked up with because three of the same guys is ridiculous
I watch one musical on Netflix, and the "Suggested for you" section is literally almost the entire gay movie category. I feel profiled, and netflixs' accuracy about my sexuality is both impressive and offensive.
where will you be at 9:30 tonight?
piledriving you in your roommate's bed?
Mom and I shoplifted today. Her idea.
Retirement sounds fun.
This is gonna be the kind of weekend where if it involves putting on pants, it ain't happening.
OMG OMG OMG Ive hit the penis jackpot
It seriously took everything in my power not to sleep with him
What did it come out and serenade you? Lol
It sang to me in the dark. It was magical
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