she pooed on me. she actually pooed on me.
he cried for an hour, then he threw up on my lap then started singing party in the usa...opera style...
he was so nervous about his first time.. it was like michael j. fox trying to put on a condom...
using the left over highlighters from the blacklight party to study for finals. feeling the need to write insert penis here on my econ notes.
I appreciate the offer. Swallowing pride is much like swallowing cum, difficult and unpleasant
She cut off the top of a watermelon and is now eating it with a spoon. She's more than half done.
Should we pre-order food to the ER for cinco de mayo?
Haha...we lost by one cup to a guy w shitty facial hair. What makes me most mad abt the loss is that I could grow a better beard on my vag.
So far in the last ten minutes I have tried to pour cereal into a plate. Today's gonna be a great day.
You were fine, but your knee injury definitely came from interpretive dancing like a gay fairy with lead wings all around the Mission St BART. Everyone thought you were on drugs.
Just watched my first Christmas porn of the year. Def have the spirit now
There was pot, but there are no Doritos, no Funyons, no Oreos.
Send help.
Lots of tissues. Maybe pizza. Only time will tell. The stages of political grief.
Far be it from me to tell you where you store your dildos but from an interior decorating standpoint not fucking there
I just got the high sucked out of me. Fuck.
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