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• (337): View more from Louisiana

  i think he might wanna be bffs again, but idk cause we're friends again but we haven't been bff since like a year. i don't know what to think...

  (985): View more from Louisiana

  wow. what a nail bitter. i need popcorn for this. brb

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• (780): View more from Alberta, CA

  Also do the "tongue the pee-hole" thing.

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• (720): View more from Colorado

  Been drinkin since 3, wearing a tutu, how could things go wrong

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• (806): View more from Texas

  A guy just tried to send me a pic of his penis & my phone sent me a disclaimer saying "the components were unsuitable for your terminal"

  (501): View more from Arkansas

  Even your phone knows you shouldn't sleep with him...

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• (818): View more from California

  I'm going to have to call in sick tomorrow. After this weekend, there's no way I can handle hearing the accountants talk about double entry without puking.

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• (513): View more from Ohio

  Yeah I fingered her in the crowd and the dj saw it and gave me props over the speakers. I got so many high fives.

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• (817): View more from Texas

  I just took the soggiest of beer shits and all i have to eat is shredded cheese and more beer. I need an adult.

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• (903): View more from Texas

  There's a naked man in my car right now.

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• (718): View more from New York

  DO NOT SLAP ANYONE WITH ANY VEGAN MEAT PATTIES

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• (606): View more from Kentucky

  I spent all the money my grandpa gave me for Christmas last night….solid start to 2015

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• (518): View more from New York

  If you think hives from an allergic reaction to lube is funny, remind me to tell you the story about how I got a black eye from masturbating.

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• (406): View more from Montana

  We just had sex on an abandoned logging road while wearing snow shoes. God bless Montana boys.

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• (339): View more from Massachusetts

  I think I was just recruited to join a religious lesbian cult by these 3 really pretty girls and I'm tempted to join

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• (303): View more from Colorado

  whoevers yellow car is in your driveway right now... i plan to steal. just an FYI

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• (970): View more from Colorado

  I want you

  (970): View more from Colorado

  Nvm, now I want someone who replies to my booty-call texts faster

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