Stop everything. They have oreo straws to drink milk with and then you eat the straw. I think i just got turned on by a cookie commercial.
I think you're asking the wrong person. You don't understand. Like I would fuck the act of fucking itself if I could.
dude uncooked spaghetti noodles dipped in thousand island dressing is better than it sounds
It's like the only way I know how to apologize is by giving a blow job.
It's 9:30am and I've already blown three loads. Reason #101 I love 25 year old girls.
Something about getting head on stairs. I don't know.
Were playing bathroom attendees at the party and making people wash their hands
i made a dollar
She told me she eats fruit when she's hungover because it has more water than water.
I'm drinking your booze since you ate my pop-tarts. I'm telling you this because I still don't think it's a fair trade.
I want him for more than banging and buying me potato salad. Is this what love feels like?
How bad would it be to ask my maintenance man for new blinds because the dude puked on those too?
Did you really just reference your penis in a pep talk? I think I may love you more now.
You kept licking my face. You said you were making sure I was real.
This guy needs to stop asking about my feet
? I'm just sitting watching something borrowed alone, crying in my boxers , feel like I should probably do something
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