I solve my problems like an adult, at the strip club drinking on a work night.
My grandmother just explained bulimia to me as a diet
Her tattoo has the intellectual profundity of snakes on a plane except you can't laugh.
the best part was when he threw his debit card on the table, looked at everyone and said "turn this into pizza!" It felt like a scene in a 'coming of age' teen comedy.
Even if you were sober, spitters are STILL quitters, end of story.
ok watching intervention on tv. when i hit rock bottom - i wanna be THIS chick.
going to class with no bra.. is that saying "i don't give a fuck i'm one hour away from thanksgiving break?"
Can I just put my face in your boobs and forget the world?
Dude, he threw a pool chair off of an 8 story building. It was a successful night I'd say.
well his attempt to make a white russian with instant coffee, gone off milk, and that weird probably illegal vodka we bought the other day isnt going well
Holy shit, add "successfully got stoned secretly at a party where a cop was" to my list of accomplishments.
I think the fact that I stole someone's mail and broke my big toe means that I should consider taking some time away from vodka
Someone stole a lamp last night.
i now understand why vodka
Got so high i fell asleep kyaking...for 2 hours.
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