first missing my period. then crying at the clinic... but why?
we had sex 3 months ago. you missed your period 2 weeks ago. but nice try.
My boobs are too big for things to be going this downhill in my life.
I just did my online traffic school at the bar. No biggie.
The fact you even thought licking it would fix it boggles my mind
Well it worked
Not the point
He taped the number 420 over all of his clocks
she got kicked out of the bar for shoving german chocolate cake in the bartenders face. we were there less than a minute
He shoved his balls through an egg carton and showed us a picture. They were surprisingly egg-like.
Were you rubbing your penis on me while I slept? I smell like penis.
Cover your phone. Photos of streaking frat guys incoming.
I cried over the lack of milkshakes I've consumed in the last month
I just sent a dick pic to a number on Craigslist, this may be my new low
I balled in the shower for 20 minutes, rolled up to the meeting late looking like a gremlin, and my one night stand was standing there in a suit
I promised her before I left that I'd make good choices and then got drunk and fucked my best friend and her boyfriend.
so does the amount of bruises on my arms and legs mean we had fun last night?
I know you're having a really bad day and I'm a little to blame for that and I'm sorry. To make your day go better just try to imagine what people's fuck faces look like.
Randomize
