It started with Hannah Montana and ended with alcoholism.
I'm missing my class because I'm not done with my beer
Sex and the city 2 and twilight getting released in the same month. God hates mankind.
First lesson of the year: don't close the bar on mondays
My last memory involves me naked in a mens's bathroom stall. I really hope my date was with me.
I am far too hungover to deal with the fact I can hear you masturbating in the bathroom.
did i really sing to your nipples last night?
yes. and it was oddly very seductive
My life has become one weird ass game. No one wins. No one loses. We all just kind of hang in limbo and hope we don't die. Eskimo sisters for life. Please have sex with one of them.
This Pinterest wedding planning is a good distraction. I'm great at this, my imaginary wedding is beautiful
all I know is this drummer better stop eye fucking me while he plays cowbell. it is way too early for that.
Being able to fart in her presence and not be judged is why I pay half the rent.
Thanks for coming over. I'm sorry everyone else was vomiting. Thank you for not vomiting. I love you.
Being an adult can't be all bad. I just took a vacation day solely to sit around and get stoned
I really need to stop having sex.. I haven't been able to get a brush through the back of my hair for a good week and a half
I NEED HELP. IM TRIPPIN BAWLS IN THE BACK OF MY MOMS CAR.
Randomize
