it was terrible. i could've done a better job by myself.
Is it weird for a girl to post pictures of her dildo no facebook?
well when i got there she was attempting to stick the cat in her mouth.. so maybe you should go check on her
Do the low cut shirt test. If he stares at your tits even in front of your brother, he's down.
i just got painted green i'm not about to leave for anything
Definitely just put my car on cruise control so I could stick my head out of the sunroof while driving to taco bell.
THERE IS A VIDEO OF DMX SINGING RUDOLPH THE RED NOSE REINDEER
I'm officially in the Christmas spirit
I have got to stop taking so many uppers and downers simultaneously. My life is a Dali painting.
I'm the man of the house if we're referring to livers.
It's fine. I wouldn't trust either of them to be my workplace drug buddy.
Did you high five my face last night?
Yes. Yes I did.
after you got high, you started to make guac with your bare hands and said: "there's soda bubbles in my legs"
I just had a guy ask me if his "jewelry downstairs" would set off the metal detector.
He also deemed that the fact that I couldn't log into Netflix was not an emergency. He's wrong.
somehow getting chased by a bulldozer was NOT on my to-do list for today. just saying
Randomize
