she fell down the flight of stairs and was fine until she saw the two broken beer bottles on the ground by her.
thats a woman
I'm gonna write a book, Things that go bump in the night: The story of Katelyn. Chapter one, my roommate is a dumb whore.
Only at my house do scrabble games turn into fist fights. I won though... the fight not the board game.
It took me 40.8 seconds to take a dump at her house, I know because I timed myself.
You pointed at his crotch then made a thrusting motion. I think it's safe to say every guy at my college loves you.
Had a drunk dream about being in a six story taco bell. Oh my god the menu was incredibleeee
There're making snowcones with the leftover vodka from last night. This is not the time to be making up excuses!
As girls, Bert & Ernie are not very bangable costumes. At least not by who we'd want to get banged by.
I was kidding. But I promise you I'd still find us the most eligible bangables, even if we dressed up like a dumpster and a prom night baby.
The less money I spend on drugs, the happier my mom will be.
If I was home I'd be ouija boarding the fuck out of the house, haven't been this high since that day
How do u ask ur friend if shes keeping her kid but in a chill way
Sorry for peeing on your books last night. I wouldn't leave them next to the window anymore.
I can tell that I'm high when listening to celine dion becomes such a life changing experience
So, I think my BF has slept with several of our sorority sisters
Well, now that you know, yes he has. We didn’t say anything because you seemed so happy. He’s a great guy and none of us have any hard feelings, but yeah, we’re all very familiar with his penis and it’s talents
I honestly think sometimes all you need is a $2 alcoholic punch poured from a jug into a big glass to feel better. I guess abblebees is my new problematic fav
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