hooking up with chicks might be the way to go after all. walk of shame looks better in her clothes.
just landed in detroit. Currently holding a bag of my own vomit. neighbor told me it was the most graceful vom she has ever seen. Kicking off bar exam week in style.
if i found out she had a dick after i got head, does that still make me gay?
I just got home. Seriously all I remember is taking out my contacts and putting your balls in my mouth.
you also choked him out with your legs on the kitchen floor..
I have bruises on my ass from her spurs. God bless Texas.
She was literally passed out in a cubicle with a flask in her hand. I LOVE finals week!
I was more than drunk as hell I have rug burn on my elbows from ninja roles on the ground..
Just had that moment when you realize the two drunk women shoving all their money down your clothes were your middle school teachers...
I also love beards. The playoffs are like christmas for my vagina.
How high are you?
I feel like breakfast can just fly into my mouth
It's okay. I've dumbed down my notes over the semester because I knew I wouldn't be up to understanding things come finals.
Don't send me heart emojis when you're jacking off.
You're the second person to offer to fuck me in the bathroom at work. Idk whether I should feel honored, or if cvs is just a turn on.
Plus, I have my cousin, the dominatrix, to help me out if things get out of hand
Randomize
