I have a walk of shame I should be getting to. "Hey, by the way, what is your name?" is not a conversation I want to have today
I'M GETTING MARRIED!
YOU'RE STILL MARRIED!
We learned about herpes today in bio. I might as well have given the lecture
When she was dating that guy she told me If they broke up, I would receive a call and no matter what I was doing I'd have to go over a fuck her. It's like being an EMT for sex.
He told me I handled myself pretty well considering how drunk I was. He failed to realize that the lollipop I had was one I found on the ground a few minutes before hand.
The beer-amid has reached five feet. Caitlyn has a taser. GTG
Just come here and visit. Enjoy the deliciousness of me being legal. Just don't think, and come here right meow. meow meow meow.
You gave me balls I gave you half a boob. Fair trade
Im chasing shots of tequila with chocolate milk right now. by myself. its nasty, but I've had worse in tjere the past couple days, so ill take it.
I would've hung out with you if I had the capacity to do anything besides fall over and pee on things
I've actually, minus lsat night have actually changed my drinking habits
That was obviously his first time talking dirty. He called my vagina "pretty"
I mean he did ask and he said it's cold out but i didn't realize we were that comfortable hahaha sex is one thing but borrowing a sweatshirt?
Locking that text forever.
He tried to break dance on the island in the kitchen and ended up knocking over everyone's alcohol onto the floor then yelled "GUCCI" before vomiting
I fucked your neighbor. Welcome to the new apartment!
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