D3 body, D1 cock
I havent dry-humped that much since freshmen year. Forgot how good it doesnt feel.
Your dignity remains intact. He, on the other hand, is completely convinced he slept with your cat.
The night started going downhill when I set my foot on fire.
I just can't promise there won't be a reason to hit you in the face with a dildo again in the future.
Because everyone is allowed one half drunken 7:30 am walk back to campus in a cowgirl costume, right?
My Internet history has 23 searches for 24 hour cake. Self respect plummeting.
thank you for extending my knowledge of the effects of vodka. speak of what happened last night and i will kill you and send your fingers to your loved ones.
I really don't think there's anything more liberating than farting.in a loud bar where no one.can.hear you
A man just sang Jennifer Lopez to me out his car window. I am not sure how I feel about this, but it is not positively.
Nothing says "forever alone" like receiving a friendship bracelet from your parents.
I need a priest, doctor, and therapist after this weekend.
You came walking in the backyard at 10am, in cowboy boots, a new shirt, and had no money,....we lost you for 15 hours....i think you just need a camera crew, or an assistant. IMPRESSED!
I was full on naked standing in his room and I just said "this isn't me" and left.
If you saw or spoke to me yesterday can you message me. Trying to make a timeline of the day I was too drunk to remember
Last night when I blacked out, I ate Chef Boyardee. I never want to be that drunk ever, ever again.
Randomize
