Sometimes, when I pour the powdered creamer in my coffee I like to pretend it's Colombian grade cocaine.
That's the kind of morning coffee a girl could welcome the day with.
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns.
Just waterfalled in the movie theatre... this is the beginning to a good night
She hadn't heard about the oil spill. She gave dumb blondes a whole new standard to aim for. I did her anyway...but that isn't the point.
thanks. im glad you find me better in your comparison between me and fat girl porn.
False alarm I know hes alive because when i tried shaking him awake he pissed his pants and rolled over..
Are some dicks heavier than others? Random question as I'm feeling mine.
I left the guinea pigs on the dryer. Make sure to take care of them.
Hey so when you left last night was i wearing shoes?
I just want a sensitive guy who will get drunk with me then take me out to steal things. Is that too much to ask?
It was at the same house, but a different party, when lesbians set me on fire. So there's that.
I know this is a weird question but we both had pants on when my mom woke us up last night right?
This morning when you were fucking me you said you'd go to the store and get me tampons and a 30 pack
Is there something wrong with us? Seriously.
Possibly, but I'd rather not fix it.
Is it too much to ask to have a life partner who has both male and female sex organs that looks cute and sounds like a female Antonio Banderas and likes to get weird?
Randomize
