i chose cheese fries over sex for the third time this week.
my roommate just caught me washing a dildo in the sink.
With sake I got over my irrational fear of seafood. Now I just fear sake.
My RA just tried to write me up for having sex too loudly during quiet hours.
Its the Friday before break. There are 20 kids in my 300 person lecture hall. All with the same what the fuck am I doing here look on there face.
winter break is gonna be like a weird mixture of rehab fat camp and holiday cheer.
I just realized I'm gonna get paid at midnight on New Years Eve. That could be dangerous.
There are lots of gay asians. This is better than i was expecting
Where the hell is he. I called him crying for weed and sex you would think that would signal some urgency.
Your ankle brace is here and the saw is charged. Grab some vodka that cast is coming off tonight.
It's called hot rabbit the party if he asks the password is "careful" don't ask
I just want to drink cheap wine and throw my bra at an aging singer songwriter
Apparently I offered the cop my Taco Bell.
Desperate times...
I think about him when I masturbate so I guess you could call it love
we live vicariously through your huge boobs
Randomize
