Never forget that any girl can get her way if she puts her vagina on the table.
What time do you think the pilgrims started drinking? I want to be as accurate as possible.
If there was a creeper hall of fame you and me would be the first two inductees
im kinda looking forward to winter break. ive been away from home for so long i think i can trick my vagina into thinking that these arent the same people ive been hooking up with since high school...
I feel eeeverything like there's a rhythm and everything can be felt w/o ever touching it. And it's beautiful. Sunshine or raindrops it's like orgasming. Everything has a taste.
I got to find out the airplane alcohol limit, and somehow I made it through the flight.
I just want you to know that I hid the weed. Once you find another job, I'll tell you where it is. Happy Hunting, bro.
I could barely talk to the cabbie and I was text bombing everyone. They need to make an auto timer app to prevent people like me from belligerent late night harrassing. And I was seeing double... Prob would have tried to give your leg a bj and then fallen down the stairs.
He wants me to have his first child. So that makes four gay men that've called dibs on my eggs.
A gay guy went down on me in the club bathroom and then fixed my makeup for me
its gonna be a great night
with hottub sex, handcuffs, Pocahontas themed lap dances, and eating pumpkin pie off each other, I'm gonna say thanksgiving will be a success ;)
You know what else? He didn't even get to see my butt. And my butt is really cute. Car sex is awful.
he just fucked me for my cheese..
YOUUUU FUCKING FURRYYYY
I DIDN'T COME HERE TO BE SLANDERED LIKE THIS
Don't do it. He's got a dick the size of a baseball bat. You don't want that commitment.
I have to. For the sake of science.
Randomize
