So are you the girl that gave me herpes? or was that the girl from the night before
so we told my parents we were going trick or treating. got high as shit at some playground. and then bought our own candy so we looked legit when we got home.
Ok cool. Ill pick up liquor because, well let's be honest, we don't need an excuse anymore.
Admitting I go to nursing school is my subtle way of saying, yes, I know every muscle in your penis and how to effectively use them.
just made one giant jello shot... if i have to study on a saturday night, i'm gonna do it as drunk as possible
Maybe the downfall to liking really smart guys is that they're to smart to think about sex all the time.
We're drinking vodka. Wine is for people who have to wake up in the morning.
I cant shower it involves moving...
Just lay there and turn the water on. At least rinse off the shame.
Guys with integrity exist just to rain on my slut parade.
Sex on roller skates
Floating mattress
Tie
I am pretty sure we beat baby seals over the head in a past life. That is why we are being punished.
YOU GAVE HIM A BLOWJOB ON YOUR DOORSTEP?!
Having to crawl on my hands and knees because I woke up with a mysterious broken foot this morning...
Well you could have stayed home, played house and got blow jobs all weekend babe, but we all have to live with our decision
Then, even the devil himself would be scared of us. And we'd be bestfriends with Jesus. He would love us.
Randomize
