Turns out drinking large amounts of Gentleman Jack does NOT turn you into a Gentleman -- quite the opposite actually.
Lady next to me is getting american flags airburshed on her nails. god bless the ghetto.
It usually only happens when Im really excited. Normally not that fast. You still enjoy it?
things I have learned from cosmo today- 40% of guys are uncircumsized, you can have a beer facial, and i really need to get tested for std's
i feel like verizon should give a sexter of the month award
Thank you for getting us into that car accident. I have had more guys hit on me than ever before because of my broken fingers.
i pretended i was deaf and got a girl to come home with me
Only thing I know is apparently I danced with a bouncer and we got a ride back from a valet who was driving one of the cars he was supposed to be parking
Yeah. she rolled up to the party on a unicycle then peed in the bushes. TA of the year.
He was pretty wasted I guess, but the crippled guy threw the first punch it was awesome
Beer coozy in the gym. Don't judge me.
I'm eating crumbled blue cheese out of Tubbaware. My life is nothing.
I want to bone him until his eyes fall out
how soon in a friendship can you start calling them a motherfucker
What am I thankful for..I figured out I can drink on antibiotics without getting sick thanks to the power of pot gummies
Randomize
